Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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