even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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