So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
