This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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