k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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