And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
