so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
do nipples grow back?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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