I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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