He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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