I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
