I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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