Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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