Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
