he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
