My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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