what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
