I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
