I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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