i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
