just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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