I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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