if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
