I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
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Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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