I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
