I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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