wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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