so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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