hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
