Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
