i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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