That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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