I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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