your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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