a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
