well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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