For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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