I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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