I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
