There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
