let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
