About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
