She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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