friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
