She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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