420 ftw
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
