Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
