i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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