try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
