so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
