Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
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Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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