last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
we should paint friendship bongs
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
