Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
