He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
