Did you just see the Batmobile???
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
