Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
