We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
