ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
