thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
