Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
