Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
