where does the pee come out of this thing
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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